Tonight I am breaking down all the furniture and getting everything packed that I am going to donate. It has to be ready by tomorrow.
Unfortunately, I have to do it with another busted rib. I have the most powerful cough this world has ever seen. Or heard. How would you write that... has ever felt? Anyway. That shit is super powerful. So powerful in fact that my mcRib is mcBusted.
Strong enough to break two ribs total. One a couple months ago.
This time it was on the left side. And again there is nothing that can be done.
I'm sure that moving furniture all by myself is not helping but, eh... fuck it.
Tomorrow, after I get everything done at the apartment, I have to pick my sister up for one more blood draw. I am not sure if I am going to get a 'booster' (it's like smoothie king!).
Wednesday, is all day at the hospital. Thursday is clinic and possibly the cell boost.
Thursday night...
...is Dallas.
I will be back in Dallas for two weeks. It still doesn't feel like I am getting to go home. And now that I have no home... well, at least the canvas is blank I suppose. If you piss on a blank canvas and hang it the wall does that make it art?
I have to be back here on the 20th as of now but that might change. I will start my next round of chemo. That will take a week and then I have no idea what I am going to do.
This is where it would be great to get some guidance. I feel so lost in so many areas of my life right now. Everything seems so uncertain and there is no telling what is going to happen. Which makes it very hard to make a plan.
But, I know that something is going to happen. Something great I hope. It feels like it. I'm ready man. At this point I think I might just try to take over the world. It just seems like I should do something unimaginable after all this. I've never felt so ready for something amazing to happen. It's fucked up to think that a few months ago I was fully prepared to die. Now I am fully prepared to be king. The whole world would call me The Boss.
Chances are neither one will happen. I won't die and I won't run shit. My greatest fear. To do nothing but just exist. Live 90 years and no one ever know me. I am so afraid of that happening.
Instead I will keep moving forward. You can't match my hustle.
I will keep moving furniture with a busted rib and hold on to the hope that something will happen. Hopefully soon.
Justin
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